A cautionary tale about the payoff for Googling people you date.
Monday night I went on a date in San Francisco with a guy I met on OkCupid named Jeffrey. The date was pretty weird, but the guy was a physical specimen so I took the strangeness with a grain of salt. Yet later in the week I had this nagging suspicion that something was off. After some heavyweight Googling, oh holy shit, this result popped up.
The woman in this article went on a date with Jeffrey Allen, who, as it turns out is a 42-year-old professional pickup artist (PUA). He’s been teaching live dating bootcamps for men since 2003, has released DVDs and books, is a founding member of Real Social Dynamics (with Tyler Durden) and was a key player in Neil Strauss’s book “The Game,” a bestselling expose on the world of PUAs. In 2013, Jezebel also posted an warning article about this same man. Given that he was reticent to tell me what he did for a living, saying “I’m self-employed” and “I sell stuff on the internet,” this makes sense. Apparently part of what he sells online are T-shirts that say “beast mode.” Super.
While this woman was at the restaurant with him, he invaded her personal space and she told him that she would not allow that. She left the restaurant and by the time she made it to her car, he had texted her “kill yourself n*****.” To another girl who had met him online and cancelled before their first date he told her she was fat.
So, what was my experience with SF’s douchebag PUA extraordinaire?
We met up for drinks at Hop Oast on Cesar Chavez and Bryant in the Mission at 9pm Monday night. There was no one in the bar and he had clearly had already had a few that day. He was handsome, charming and cocky. He seemed very interested and asked me a lot of questions, not caring too much about what the answers were. About half-way through his beer, he quickly looks me up and down and says almost under his breath, “Yeah, this’ll work.” I said “What?” and he brushed it off, joking “I haven’t eaten today.”
I’m definitely disappointed in myself for not just leaving right then, but I was also curious about what else might happen. You know the old adage about watching a train wreck. Here’s a sample of what he said to me over the course of the night:
- I love you
- I drive a giant van (he really does)
- [holding my hands] I want to take you home and introduce you to my family
- You’re an angel
- I want to get you pregnant, I take care of my kids (with plan B)
- You make me feel weird in the dick (a favorite of this as I’ve seen from other horror stories)
The whole time I was thinking, this must all be a big joke right? And I hate not being in on the joke. I treated the whole thing as a sort of social experiment. And despite his very desperate and whiny protests, I did not sleep with him. He’s been texting me every day to hang out again. Guess who was just blocked?
As I found out tonight, one of his books is called “Get Laid or Die Trying.” It’s actually called that and obviously his number one strategy. And he’s terrible at it! If he’s preaching this kind of insane horseshit to people in his seminars, I truly fear for society. THIS MAN IS WHAT’S WRONG WITH OUR COUNTRY. STAY AWAY!
And please always do your research before meeting online dates in person.