Never Buy This

As if you wouldn’t know just by looking at it.

I saw it sitting dejectedly on the kitchen counter last night and thought, What the hell? I think part of me mistook the chili peppers for raspberries and in my delusional late night munching, I didn’t really care. Chocolate lover that I am, all I saw was “64% Cacao” and I was sold.

I broke off one piece, fuck it, two pieces and popped them in my mouth. Smooth sailing. Delicious dark chocolate, a little bitter, and then oh wait, oh SHIT! My mouth is on FUCKING FIRE!

It took me about 15 minutes to fully recover from the self-inflicted torture. Could I have spit it out? Yes. Did I? No. I don’t believe in wasting chocolate no matter how old, rancid or pepper-filled.