My thoughts on Paula Deen

This woman absolutely terrifies me.

I think she might be the devil.

A neighbor of mine back home, a real old Southern woman named Shirley, always asks me to get P.Deen’s autograph for her. But I’m scared. I think she would smile, rip my face off, fry it in butter until golden brown, then sprinkle powdered sugar on it and serve it to an unassuming audience member.