The lox debacle

Two weeks ago I was in Cocoa Village after an appointment and decided to eat lunch at my favorite restaurant in the area, Ossorio.

Ossorio is a cute little cafe right one the corner of Brevard Avenue and Harrison Street. Every time I’ve eaten there it’s been nothing short of delicious . . . until now.

Because I am participating in the Summer Meltdown 2010 weight loss program, I decided to keep my lunch very light. So I ordered a salad. The Francoise Salad to be exact. This salad boasted thinly-sliced salmon over a bed of spring greens with roasted asparagus, a lemon vinaigrette dressing and a small baguette.  The baguette was the best part.

In Ossorio’s defense, this salad debacle was my own damn fault. I was going to order the salad with bacon and blue cheese crumbles, but I went for the healthier option. I opted for the salmon, even though the boy at the register warned me without warning me about it. Here’s how it went down:

Me: Can I have the Francoise Salad, please?

Register boy: Have you had our salmon before? (This should have been my clue to order something different.)

Me: No.

RB: It’s salt-cured.

Me: [Blank stare]

RB: It’s lox.

Me: [Pausing for a brief, agonizing moment] That’s fine.

But it was not fine. The girl brought over my salad, I took one look and thought Shit, what have I done? It was a plate full of slimy salmon.

Thinly-sliced salt salmon. I’ve had prepackaged Starkist salmon better than this crap. It was chewy and fishy beyond belief. Normally I’m O.K. with the flavor of salmon, but this was just vile.

Then I realized that what I was eating was not even really that healthy. It was very salty which meant that it would make me retain water and even raise my blood pressure. Great.

I resolved to eat at least all of the vegetables and some of the salmon, which I did, but it was rough. Eating a bite of the baguette with the salmon made it a bit more bearable, and now I understand why people eat lox primarily on bagels. Not on salads.

Next time I visit Ossorio, I’m sticking with a whole wheat flat bread pizza. That’s the way to go.