Rants
-
My idea of camping is staying at a Howard Johnson
Don’t forget the out-of-tune acoustic guitar so someone can stumble through shoddy renditions of Third Eye Blind songs around the campfire. Continue reading
-
Jury Selection: The Olympics of Crazy
“Yes I understand that the minor traffic infraction you committed when you were 15 put you under great duress. Now will you be able to set that aside and listen to the evidence of this case?” Continue reading
-
What it’s really like living in San Francisco
It’s been just over two years since I moved to the Bay Area from Atlanta. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how completely different it is out here and what it’s like living in San Francisco from a displaced Southerner’s perspective. It’s impossible to capture all the little details when someone from back east Continue reading
-
44 Homocide-Inducing Corporate Jargon Terms
In June of last year, I started working as a copywriter and content creator for a gargantuan national retailer, by far the largest corporation I’ve ever worked for. Along with learning the veritable alphabet soup of job position and department acronyms, I started to become keenly aware of the liberal, one might even say egregious, use Continue reading
-
Mescaline & Diarrhea: A Fuck Valentine’s Day Rant
I could say that this is a bullshit holiday invented by capitalist pig greeting card companies and manufacturers of waxy, mediocre chocolates. These same companies that undoubtedly have contracts with Weight Watchers and 100 Calorie Packs, which as we all know, if you mow down a box of six, does not equal 600 calories. It’s Continue reading
-
An Open Letter of Hate to the Woman in 12A
Dear Woman Sitting Behind Me in 12A on This Flight to Vegas, For the last two and a half hours I’ve been suppressing a distinct and snowballing hatred for you. You insist on squawking at full volume on and on about all the mundane things that come to your mind. Dismal proof of your repressed Continue reading
-
Age of the Eighties Party
Editor’s Note: This was a rant that I wrote my first year at SCAD in 2007-08. I submitted it to District, SCAD’s newspaper, the following year but of course it didn’t get published. We’ve all been to one at some point in our lives, or at least we’ve seen the pictures. The mindless droll that Continue reading
What Sarah Said 