Ever wonder what writing majors do in class?

If there’s one thing I can say about the writing majors, it’s that we pay very close attention in class. Not necessarily to take notes on the lectures (although we do that too), but mostly, we wait for our professors to say something hilarious so we can write it down and savor it, or for many, Tweet it. These one-liners are what we live for, and they make the 12-hour day of classes go by much faster.

Here is my collection of quotes from this Winter quarter.

Lough:

  • “It’s like comparing apples to oranges and that’s not very fruitful.”
  • “Smells like tuna, tastes like chicken.”
  • “It’s a dumbass religion” – on Rastafarianism
  • “I just thought of a band: Sudan Somers.”
  • “How can you turn down billionairism?”
  • “Hyenas have dildos.”
  • “Jesus could not drive a stick.”
  • “This is one big incest fest: Incestival.”

Beth:

  • “Travis doesn’t play Second Life. He’s barely interested in his one life.”
  • “This is like food porn” – on thisiswhyyourefat.com

Griffith’s class:

  • “They’re men, all they need is a pulse.” – Kama

Random Quotes

Yesterday was a good day for random funny quotes in class:

  • “The tight pants makes the blood go to your head.” – Daniel C. on skinny jeans
  • “I hate tomatoes. They’re like boogers.” – Margaret U.
  • “Two vaginas? Way better than a tail! – Rachael S. on Lauren Williams
  • “After you have a colectomy, you have a semicolon.” – James Lough

And another gem from Dr. Lough from Oct. 26:

  • “The best thing I ever did was have a vasectomy.”

Lough quotes

This is my first quarter with James Lough and I’m learning that he is a very interesting man. For those of you who are unaware, Dr. Lough is the chair of the writing department here at SCAD. He is teaching my Writing for the Arts I class this quarter.

His utterances are often startling and thought-provoking. For that reason, I’ve decided to compile a list of his quotes:

  • “Austrians are just Germans in drag.”
  • “There was a middle-aged, overweight woman in a polyester smock, fingers blackened from gambling, holding margarine tubs full of coins, licking her lips.” – On a woman he’d seen in a casino in Reno
  • “Jim Morrison performs like a snake having sex.”
  • “I was seduced by a parrot.”
  • “Jean stayed on his side. He was as embarrassed as I was. It was kind of cute.”

Many more to come. If you have any of your own Lough quotes, post them here.